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“You guys do a lot of quizzing together?” Ed asks.
“We compete in a pub quiz league. North West champions, last year.” Lucius boasts. “What about you guys?”
“Done bits, here and there. Izzy got to the final of University Challenge, back in, what, 1988? I won a bit of cash on The Chase a few years ago, and Fang is a Mastermind champion.”
Ah, shit. They are going to get demolished.
*
Or: Stede and Ed are captains of rival teams on the TV quiz show Only Connect, and then cuteness ensues.
Stede Bonnet's love life is completely non-existent and an utter tragedy to behold - At least, according to those closest in his life.
Thus they're compelled to do what any group comprised of an ex-wife, co-workers turned friends through sheer proximity, and assorted significant others of aforementioned co-workers turned friends would do: Set up five blind dates that Stede Bonnet has no choice but to go on.
Stede keeps on showing up ridiculously early to these dates, but at least the bartender is friendly.
In which Stede spots a pretty guy across the bar and ends up discovering more about himself than he ever expected to.
In which Stede, upon being told he was supposed to marry Mary, decided to give up his wealth and privilege and dedicate his life to the service of god.
Or: The story of how Edward Teach fell in love with a priest.
Caught in the whirlwind of a year-long renovation, Ed and Stede are on the brink of unveiling their new inn. With the finishing touches underway, a menacing storm brews on the horizon. While battening down the hatches, they're interrupted by two posh stragglers seeking refuge. However these stragglers aren't just any guests, they're familiar faces. As the storm rages outside, new connections are forged within.
Or
Due to a particularly nasty storm, Mary and Doug must stay the night at the Unicorn Inn, unaware of just who exactly is running it.
Merfolk Prince Stede rescues an injured Blackbeard after a mutiny - can he help his new friend find his ship and get revenge?
Advice columnist Stede Bonnet has a crush on the guy who delivers his food every week.
Meanwhile, chef and restaurant owner Ed Teach keeps making personal food deliveries every week to the guy he has a crush on.
When Ed writes into Stede's column, maybe they'll finally figure out that they're both down bad.
They’ve talked about Stede’s past enough that Ed knows that his parents and his ex-wife never made any kind of fuss over his birthday. Ed is going to change all that—he’s going to make a big fuss! Not a huge fuss, though. It’s early in their relationship, and he doesn’t want to scare Stede off. He’s pretty sure it’s too soon to propose or ask to move in together, even though he knows he’s all in on this beautiful, bitchy lunatic of a man.
Fortunately, Ed now knows just the gift to get for Stede. Something that will show that Ed cares for and listens to him. It’s perfect.
~~~~~
Ed plans the perfect birthday for Stede. He makes a list and everything! But things do not go as planned....
Dr. Stede Bonnet is about to present on a conference panel with rockstar academic Dr. Ed Teach. Stede's always admired Teach, who had cited Stede's book in his most recent article. Which would be exciting, except for one small thing.
The citation got Stede's name wrong.